Helpful tips for planning your wedding
While every wedding is unique, I feel like there’s some important tips and tricks regardless of everyone’s differences that will help you keep the day true to YOU, relaxed and optimize the joy in the process.
Take it from me.
Keep the day about YOU.
It’s hard (and exhausting!) trying to please everyone. Remember that this day is about you and your fiancé. Be unapologetic about your decisions to do what’s best for you. You can’t please everyone, and you won’t.. and THAT’S OKAY. The people that love you will support your wishes and requests, whatever they may be. Keep open communication between you and your fiancé when making important decisions. When each of you want different things, try to compromise. After all, marriage is about learning the art of compromise so it’s a great time to get started on perfecting that skill. Discuss your priorities together when planning and listen. Common ground is a beautiful thing. The process happens so quickly; Try to use it as an opportunity to grow together. Turn your wedding vendor appointments into date nights!Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Perfect doesn’t exist. And, often the most memorable moments can come from the in-between or the surprises along the way. Meet every road block with calmness and allow yourself to work through things slowly rather than allow the emotions you have IN the moment wreck the moment. Mother Nature likes to surprise us with rain or snow when you had only planned for sun. Regardless of weather, the day will be beautiful. Nothing will be ruined as long as you don’t allow your attitude or outlook to do the ruining. This brings me to the next thing…
Back ups!
In the even that weather puts a damper on things, greet the obstacle with a BACK UP PLAN! Outdoor events are lovely, but be open minded about bringing things indoors or under a tent as a last resort.
Weather isn’t the only thing you should prepare for, however. Be sure to discuss the what-ifs with your vendors in the event that changes have to be made. We all experienced the Covid crisis that made things hard ESPECIALLY with planning a wedding. Be sure to understand policies and procedures so you know what to expect. Don’t be afraid to ask a million questions - we all want you to feel comfortable and confident in your plans.Work with people you love.
And by LOVE, I’m not only saying you love their work or price point. Love them as a person. Wedding vendors often become your wedding day BFF and your support system, all in one. We spend the full day by your side on one of THEE most important days of your life. Make sure you like their company. I realize that may sound a bit crazy when you’re literally asking Google to point you in the direction on who to hire. Consider asking friends and family for referrals of people they loved working with. Chances are, you’ll enjoy them, too. Read reviews not only from the vendors website (because of course they’re only sharing the best!) but on Google and other wedding sites. Take time to meet with some of them in person to see if they’d be a good fit. Opt in for an engagement session so you get a chance to build up a sense of comfort with your photographer so you know what yo expect on your wedding day.
Hire professionals.
Do your homework. Avoid regret and disappointment later by asking questions! Take time to think through your vendor priorities when making your plans. Don’t undercut the ones you have at the top of your list. When trying to stay within budget, allow the items that hold lower priority be the ones you cut corners on. When it comes to photography be sure to ask to see multiple full wedding galleries before signing the contract. It’s important you see a finished product from start to finish to make sure the quality of work is consistent with your wants/needs. Taste the food before agreeing on a caterer or bakery. Meet your DJ and officiant in person to see if their energy can keep up with your squad. I’m always happy to offer vendor recommendations for companies I’ve worked with in the past that do a superb job - just ask.Doctor up those wedding day traditions!
This kind of goes in line with #1 on our list, but lets be a bit more specific. “Something old, Something new, Something borrowed, Something blue.” - I saw someone recently share a little story about how their something blue was actually the most special people to them attending the wedding. They literally picked out the people that had the biggest impact on their lives and asked them to wear blue. Imagine that group photo.. AMAZING! Imagine how important those people felt. Think outside of the box. I’ve had many conversations with couples who were putting together their wedding party and stressed because one side has more people on it than the other. SO WHAT! Don’t settle by filling a seat just to match up the count on both sides - choose the people who deserve to stand by your side. Symmetry is overrated; Your ride-or-dies are NOT.
Take your time.
Don’t rush through the process. Be intentional with your day and enjoy every moment of it. Don’t wait until last minute to put together your vows, for example. Give them the time they deserve. Take your photographers advice on timeline suggestions. You’ll enjoy the day so much more when you aren’t strapped for time. I work with each couple to create a custom day-of timeline for this very purpose. If you and your fiancé want a private moment before the reception begins for just the two of you, make time for it. Those are the moments that are most important! Your wedding day will be over before you know it and make a point of being present in all of those moments. Enjoy your guests. Enjoy each other. Remember to have FUN! Also, don’t limit yourself by only looking at vendors in your area - chances are they’d love to travel to help your day come together exactly how you want it to.
A few tips to consider..
Put together an estimated guest list count BEFORE seeking out your venue. It’s important the location you choose can house all the people you want included in the celebration.
Put together a survival kit for yourselves on your wedding day. Include items like blotting papers, tissues, Tylenol, a travel sized sewing kit, extra hair pins and safety pins.. JUST IN CASE.
Find yourself something to wear that is photo ready for the morning of the wedding as you’re getting ready. A nice robe will do the trick!
Ask your guests to keep their phones put away (and on silent) during your ceremony. This will allow your photographer to have the best view without phones, cameras and tablets (YES, I’ve seen big tablets blocking an aisle!) so they’re able to create the best photographs on your big day. I promise, you’ll appreciate our photos over the one your aunt got with her outdated smart phone. Quality over instant gratification, friends.
Do your bridal portraits without an audience. I tell every couple this! Those portraits will be more personal and comfortable when you don’t feel like you’re on display. If you’re including children or pets in these, have a friend or family member nearby that can help by taking the dogs or kiddos when we’re finished so those bride + groom portraits are stress free.
Put some thought into doing a first look, first touch, letter or gift exchange with your fiancé on your wedding day. Some people prefer the emotional moment of seeing their partner walk down the aisle for the first time, others like to opt for a private moment before the ceremony to work out some emotions less publicly. There is no right or wrong.. only what is best for you.Ask for help.
Don’t be afraid to ask for or accept the help of your friends and family to put the day together. It is NOT a burden on them - they want to help, I promise! Allow others to save you time so you’re able to enjoy the day and be fully present in it. Less responsibility will mean less stress. Trust your vendors to do their job (because that’s why you hired them) and enjoy the process. Have help lined up for set up and take down to meet your venues timeline restraints.Celebrate.
Even though a honeymoon isn’t in the budget for every couple (or, at least not right away) it’s still important to take some time away to celebrate your union. Enjoy each other.. you just said yes to forever! If you can’t splurge on the trip to Hawaii, rent an Airbnb a few hours away for a little self care and a moment to relax.. because we all know all the time and efforts you put in to planning and putting all of this together.
By hiring professionals to help coordinate your wedding day, they should be vocal about their suggestions to help your day come together seamlessly. As a photographer who has shot weddings since 2008, I make it a point to communicate on a regular basis with my couples to assist in the planning process through the entire duration. Timelines are SO SO SO important and I always require to be included in creating one to ensure that all big moments have sufficient time to be captured beautifully and with ease. Timelines should be shared with your venue, catering, your photographer + videographer and, of course, your DJ or band. That way everyone is working on the same schedule and we all know what and when to expect things to occur. We accept the responsibility of respectfully taking charge to keep things on task.. that’s part of the job description.
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